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Grief – Saying Goodbye to a Wonderful Grandmother

Grief and Saying goodbye to a wonderful Grandmother

Names have not been changed as this blog is about saying goodbye to my a wonderful grandmother (pictured) and dealing with grief.

10 days ago my beautiful grandmother aged 99 fell asleep. She had an amazing life and was and will continue to be my inspiration. She was full of energy and had a great zest for life.  She had a wicked sense of humour. She lived life to the full, just a few weeks ago she was celebrated her 99th birthday with  the family and a glass of wine.

I received the phone call from my Aunt to say she had passed away peacefully in her bed and one of my uncle’s had been with her. She had been poorly for some months and whilst the news had been expected it didn’t make it easier to deal with.

During the last week I’ve experienced many emotions, a mixture of sadness and happiness recalling happy childhood memories, playing cricket in the garden with my cousins.  Christmas mornings where the whole family would gather to exchange presents. This also stirred up memories of both my parents that have also passed away over the years. Enter double whammy of grief.

It’s been 10 days since my Grandmother passed away and I have reflected how whilst I’ve been sad and weepy it hasn’t upset me as much as I thought it might. I started to ask myself why.

The answer was very clear. Nothing compared to the pain I felt when my Dad had been diagnosed with brain cancer during my last year of studying homeopathy in 2004. He had just turned 65 and had never been ill in his life.

I can still recall that phone call when he had been diagnosed and the feeling of complete and utter shock. The first remedy I took for this feeling was Arnica. Not many people realise but Arnica is an excellent remedy for shock.   I cried on and off for weeks and my homeopath prescribed me with Pulsatilla. My father died 9 months later and my sadness continued. It took me a very long time to come to terms with it but I continued to see my homeopath for support.

Grief
There are many stages of the grieving process and it is very different for all of us.   There is no time limit as to how long it will take for us to feel better. A few years later I also lost my Mum and again that was a very difficult time for me and once again homeopathic remedies came to the rescue.

My Grandmother’s funeral will be soon and whilst I don’t feel I need anything at the moment, I am sure I will take the homeopathic remedy Ignatia with me, especially as it is an excellent remedy for that “lump in the throat” and “choked up” feeling.

Grieving is never easy and we all go through it very differently. One thing is very important and that is we should allow ourselves to feel the emotions, which can vary from sadness, anger, guilt etc. If you experiencing a similar situation and after some time you are struggling to cope or are finding it difficult to move forward please feel free to contact me to see how I can help you with homeopathy.  I offer a free 15 minute consult.

Supporting young children going through loss and bereavement

Supporting young children going through loss and bereavement
Supporting young children going through loss and bereavement

This week I’ve been writing about bereavement especially as we approach the holiday season but how do we explain to young children why their favourite grandparent won’t be with us at Christmas.

As adults we can understand the loss of a loved one, not that it makes it any easier but for children it can be difficult to find the right words to explain and talk about the loss.   There is no right or wrong way but one thing is agreed and that is we should be totally honest with them.

There are many ways to help children and they are more resilient than we give them credit for, but sometimes, like adults, the loss of a loved one can create fears and anxieties that were not there before, behavioural changes may take place, or they may develop ailments such as sore throats just like the young girl and the loss of her beloved pet rabbit.

If you have noticed a change in your child following a loss and are worried I can help them with a carefully selected homeopathic remedy as I did with the little girl.   However, if you are finding it difficult to explain the loss there are other things that you can do such as read them books specially written and designed to help support young children. One such book is Brian and the Shiny Star.

I recently had the pleasure of meeting Nicola Edwards, the author of the Adventures of Brian books. These are a series of beautifully illustrated books aimed at helping parents of young children to support and manage worries and fears in a non-intrusive way.   Brian and the Shiny Star specifically helps support children going through loss and bereavement. To find out more about Brian and his adventures please visit http://www.adventuresofbrian.co.uk.

If you would like to discuss any worries you have about your child following a loss or bereavement please call me for a FREE 15 minute chat to see how I may be able to help them with homeopathy. Contact me now

Remembering Loved Ones at Christmas

Remembering Loved Ones at Christmas
Remembering Loved Ones at Christmas

As Christmas approaches our thoughts go to loved ones who are no longer with us. This is perfectly natural, after all we have shared many happy memories with them, especially if it is a parent or partner we are remembering. We remember the trouble they would go to make sure Christmas was magical and special.

These memories can also make some people feel terribly sad and Christmas becomes a strange and unwanted time of year and some even dreading it because of all the old memories it stirs up. This usually happens to people who haven’t yet gone through all the stages of grief or who are still holding on to their grief.  I wrote about this a couple of months ago “Losing Someone we Love” and the stages of grief that we go through.

Whatever stage of grief we are at, even if our loved ones passed away many years ago, Christmas time, special holidays, anniversaries and birthdays can for some still prove to be a really difficult time of year and can even lead to stress, anxiety or depression. We should remember however that there is no time limit for going through the stages of grief and they will be different for every person. There is no set pattern but it can be detrimental to our health if we hold onto it and are unable to let it go.

I help people who have found it difficult over time to pass through the stages of grief.   It is my aim that in time, the special holidays such as Christmas will hold just happy memories for them and they will be able to remember their loved ones with fond memories and not sadness.

If you would like to see how I can help you using homeopathy, please call me for a free 15 minute consultation via my contact page.

A young girl and the loss of her beloved pet rabbit

A young girl and the loss of her beloved pet rabbit
A young girl and the loss of her beloved pet rabbit

“It feels like there’s a lump in my throat”. This is the description a young girl gave me to describe her sore throat.

Her mother tells me that she is complaining of constant pain in her throat. She feels better when she is eating and drinking. She is off from school and is spending a lot of time alone in her room. When asked she denies that anything is wrong.

I ask whether she has had sore throats like this in the past and she recalls that it had happened once before. I asked the mother a few more questions. The sore throat happened last year when the girl’s best friend had moved away. She was prescribed anti-biotics but they didn’t help and it took her weeks to recover. Her mother then mentions that the girl’s much loved pet rabbit died last week.

I gave the little girl a remedy for grief especially as she had also experienced the same symptoms when her best friend had moved away. The sore throat disappeared within a day and she was able to return to school and didn’t need to take any anti-biotics.

When we experience grief, one of the early sensations that we can experience is that lump in our throat feeling. This usually passes but sometimes it can linger as in the case with this little girl.

There are of course natural stages of grieving that we go through and they appear in no particular order, they are different for each and every one of us.   Sometimes we can get stuck in the stages and this is where homeopathy helps. If you are going through a period of grief or are worried about anyone who is please feel free to contact me for a free chat to see how I may be able to help.

Losing someone we love

cherub

At some point during our lives it is inevitable that we will lose people we love.  For some of us that will be much earlier and far too soon, but what ever age we are nothing can ever prepare us.  I consider myself quite lucky in that I didn’t suffer any real loss until the death of my father 11 years ago. It did however come as a huge shock to me especially as he was still relatively young, 65 years and I was heartbroken. I do however, know people who lost parents at very young ages, or worse still parents who have lost their children.

Everyone tells us that there are five stages of grief which we all experience when we lose someone we love very much and these stages can happen in any order and there are no rules as to when we will experience these feelings, which are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. It is a gradual healing process and one not to be rushed.

We all deal with our emotions very differently so when we are going through a period of grief it is hardly surprising we can feel isolated and alone, especially when the world seems to be carrying on just as it did before.

As time goes by the grieving should become easier and we can begin to recall the good times and think about the person with fond and happy thoughts. For some, this doesn’t always happen and the problem starts if we get stuck in the grieving process and don’t deal and address the emotions we are experiencing. It has been known for some people to hold onto their grief for many years and this can have a detrimental affect on long-term health.

If you suspect you might be holding on to grief in any way then please contact me. Using homeopathy, I work with you to heal form within using a gentle, non-toxic, chemical free and safe form of medicine.

 

International Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

Baby Loss Awareness Week
Baby Loss Awareness Week

On Thursday MP Vicky Foxcroft gave a heartfelt speech where she told her story about losing her 5 day old daughter when she was a teenager. It was one of the most heartfelt and saddest speeches I have ever listened to and my heart goes out to Vicky and all the families in the world who have lost babies.

Vicky was speaking during a debate in the House of Commons about stillbirth, miscarriage and other forms of baby loss. The reason? This week has been Baby Loss Awareness Week which will end today at 7pm. The charity www.babyloss-awareness.org are inviting you to light a candle at 7pm and to leave it burning for at least one hour to remember all the babies in the world that died too soon.

baby-loss-awareness-weekThe charity is working to improve bereavement care in hospitals in the community and they are also encouraging people to share their stories on their social media sites #babyloss #breakthesilence.

For some people though the memory of going through this is just too painful to bear, remember or even talk about and for them the subject is still taboo and the grief is too much to bear.

If you have experienced a loss of this type recently or even many years ago like Vicky but feel you can’t talk about it, especially on social media sites, please call me for a free no obligation 15 minute chat to see how homeopathy can help you with the feelings that you are experiencing.

I will be lighting a candle this evening at 7pm for all the babies in the world that died too soon.

candle